2 Fatal Mistakes To Avoid When He Is Not Investing In You
Video Summary
In this episode, Matthew Hussey (author of Get The Guy) illustrates two real world examples of mistakes women make when men are not investing. If you avoid these two costly slip-ups, you will be seen as, and feel, more confident and attractive!
Mistake #1 – Taking it Personally When a Man Pulls Away
Have you ever wondered why guys pull away? Some women think a man stops investing because he has found someone else. Many women believe the now infamous he’s just not that into you. However, maybe he’s just not that into you right now. How much your crush is attracted to you today is about how he feels today. Who knows, he may change his mind weeks or months from now.
The message: don’t take it personally when people are flakey.
Change Your Perspective
It is important to take a more understanding perspective in the early stages. Heed negative personality traits, but lack of trying in the early stages is not a personality trait. You have to remember, you met this person one time at a bar. They don’t know you at all, so any judgment they may pass is not a reflection of your true self.
Warning: this advice is not about the man you have been on 10 dates with! If he isn’t investing in you by this point, it is probably time to say goodbye. Nor is this license to chase a man who has denied your advances. Your extra point of leverage: not trying harder is having character!
Mistake #2 – Showing Your Anger
When your guy’s texts stop giving you the warm and fuzzies, it may be tempting to respond with anger. You might imagine in your mind the pain your texts will inflict upon him. In reality, angry and passive aggressive responses will just confirm he made the right choice by backing off! Pressing send may feel good at the moment, but you are simply showing the man he has power over you and your emotions.
The Message: Anger makes us less attractive to the people around us.
Energy vs. Investment
A winning combination at this stage of the game is high energy and low investment. People often confuse investment and energy. High energy does not mean giving the other person more, it means exuding positive, confident energy. Low or bad energy can cost us someone great. Keeping your investment low in the beginning is equally as important: putting all of your eggs in one basket is unwise, and makes you seem insecure. People with options, people who are doing interesting things, are generally happy and do not get angry when someone does not get back to them.
About Matthew Hussey
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.
To know more about Matthew, visit www.howtogettheguy.com.