Not Sure No Contact Is Working? Here Are 5 Signs To Watch Out For
Video Summary
In this video Clay Andrews, a relationship coach discusses the ways in which you can tell whether the “no contact” rule you’ve applied to your ex is working in your favor.
1. How do I know if ‘No Contact’ is working?
If you’ve decided that it’s no longer in your best interest to communicate with your ex, it’s very important that you take this time apart to focus on you. Placing both physical and emotional distance from an ex allows you to evaluate your feelings, heal from the breakup, and jump-start a routine that no longer centralizes around him or her. Many times, people hold on to the possibility of reconciliation, and while that may very well work for you two in the future, it’s important to focus on yourself, in the present. While you may still love your ex deeply, you cannot let your emotions override your rationality. Once you’ve made the decision to end contact with your ex, it opens up the window to re-purposing your focus and attention on yourself, rather than making him or her your priority.
2. You’re emotionally-independent
You can also tell that the no-contact rule is working when you realize that you’re not driven by emotions at the thought or mention of this person. In fact, you’ve reached a new level of tranquility, and have made peace with the breakup and your emotional attachments. At this stage, you realize that you have regained control of your emotions, and are less inclined to harbor negative feelings, thoughts and associations towards your ex.
3. Doing new things
Another sign that shows you’re making progress is when you are able to seek pleasures in activities that once appealed to you, before your relationship. This means that you are not just keeping yourself busy for the sake of distracting yourself, but rather because you genuinely want to pursue your own interests. There’s a difference between putting on a facade and keeping busy as a means of avoidance, versus engaging in activities that you genuinely enjoy, and benefit from.
4. You’re in tune with your self worth
Another sign that the no contact rule is working is when you are aware of your value and self-worth. After a breakup, it’s very easy to lose sight of your confidence. Instead of questioning whether you were good enough for your ex, prove just how good you can be…to yourself. Now that you’re single, you have the opportunity to re-evaluate your wants and desires, rather than appeasing what your former partner wanted and/or expected of you.
5. You no longer react negatively
Furthermore, this no contact rule is likely to help you become more aware of yourself. At this point, it becomes easier to move forward into a happier point in your life; one that is free from negative thoughts of your ex. You’re able to consciously choose what you want and expect from life and love, as your logic supersedes any lingering thoughts of resentment that you once had. When you put yourself forward and focus on your intentions and interests, you’ve made some serious strides into the right direction of this “no contact” zone.
About Clay Andrews
Clay Andrews is a dating and relationship coach who helps women find the right type of man they can create a loving and thriving relationship with. He is the creator of Ex Solution Program- a program that helps couples get back together. To know more about Clay, visit his website below.