In this video, Matthew Hussey talks about the perfect message to send to him when he flakes on you.
Don’t move a step more than him.
There’s a concept in texting but it applies to new relationships which is meet him where he is. If he takes one step forward, take one step forward. But what you don’t do is take one and a half steps forward or two steps forward. A guy makes a move and a woman may make two.
Don’t give in too much.
If he texts you, “When can I cash in that raincheck I owe you?”, that isn’t an offer for a date. It’s not a cue for you to hand over your schedule. So answering that you’ll be free on a certain day is a bad idea. You’ll seem so desperate to see him. He’ll realize that he doesn’t really have to plan anything and do any work- he could just say okay. When you give him days to play with, he’ll make you the last resort and wait until the day off to see if he actually wants to see you. Giving him dates when you’re free gives him the idea that he can do whatever he wants with you and still see you.
What your reply should have been.
The correct answer to his question would be, “Uhm, I should be around later this week. Let me know what you have in mind”. That way, she puts him in the back foot but sill stays a little vague about her availability. If you ever do this mistake, reply with another message. It should go like this, “I’m gonna make plans but let’s definitely see each other another week”. You’ll hate that- because you want to see him. But how’s he ever gonna put you first if you don’t put yourself first.
Don’t let him get his way.
By doing that, you’re kinda telling him that what he just did is not something that works for you and your schedule because you have friends and people you can plan to see. You’re also telling him that his offer isn’t enough and you need it to be more than that. Your best shot at seeing him this weekend is sending that message. He’s far more likely to turn around and set a date with you by sending that message than he is if you let him have his way. So you win either way. Either he raises his standards for future weeks or he actually gets his act together for this weekend. People sometimes think that subjects like texting is so specific and so absurd. But like every form of communication, texts reflect deeper insecurities.
About Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey, speaker and New York Times Bestselling author, serves as a matchmaker on “Ready for Love,” NBC’s innovative and dramatic new relationship show about making real connections.
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.
To know more about Matthew, visit www.howtogettheguy.com.