The Dangerous Myth About the No Contact Rule: Why Avoiding This ‘Deadly Blunder’ Is the Key To Getting Your Ex Back

Video Summary

In this video, Clay Andrews, a relationship coach explains the real purpose behind the No Contact Rule.

People who are in pain following a break-up might imagine that the No Contact Rule is simply designed to keep them busy through the period in order to make it easier not to reach out to their ex. When this myth becomes the motive behind the No Contact period, much is lost.

Learning time

The period during the No Contact Rule is meant to be used as a chance to study and internalize the lessons taught by the Relationship Inner Game program. The focus during that period of time should be on learning about the three Mindset Pillars of Awareness, Acceptance and Commitment and to do the exercises to help you understand that you cannot depend upon anybody else to bring you happiness or fulfillment. If you use this time for perfecting your golf game or becoming a better Candy Crush player, you’ve wasted your valuable time.

Learning from the past

If we do not learn from the past, we are condemned to repeat it. This old bit of wisdom is true in all things relating to human beings. Wise men and women understand that by avoiding changes they will stay in the same old comfortable rut – except, when failed relationships with others are concerned the rut isn’t comfortable. It’s painful. By taking the necessary time and investing the appropriate energy in learning to rely upon yourself for your happiness, you will bring a new human being to new relationships; one who is more confident, more secure, and easier to love. This is the reason we engage in the rule of making no contact with your ex.

Investing in your future

Whether your ex is the person you’re destined to spend your life with or not, one thing is certain. You will not be happy if you operate always by the rules you had in your previous relationship. Those flawed rules led you to an unhappy relationship which ended in pain. The only way to avoid that in the future is to actively make changes in the way you relate to yourself and the rest of the world.

If you honestly want to become a better partner, you need to make the investment of time and energy toward creating a healthier emotional being within. This is done through hard work and active participation in adjusting your own inner workings. It cannot happen any other way.