If you do find yourself chatting with your ex, whether it’s planned or not, Marriage and Breakup Coach Brad Browning shares some topics that you can talk about safely.
Ask your ex specific open-ended questions.
This is probably the single best way to ensure you have a conversation that’s positive, upbeat and interesting to your ex by asking them specific questions about things in their life or topics of interest. You’re allowing them to share news or updates since the breakup and you’re avoiding any potentially negative or emotional topics. Examples of specific questions are “How’s your thesis coming along?”, “Are you still applying to new jobs?”- things like that.
Share gossip and updates about friends, family or insider topics.
Sharing gossip about people you both know is a great option especially if you have some news on someone or something that’s gonna be of interest to your ex. You’ll obviously know if it’s something interesting to your ex because you’ve already talked about it in the past and if it’s a positive topic that might lead to some laughs and a fun conversation. It’s also a good way of creating a sort of “us-versus-them” feeling- reminding your ex of the strong connection that you used to share. The key is to focus on talking about the same things that you did while you were together- making sure that whatever it is you’re talking about is interesting to your ex and won’t lead to any negative or emotional topics.
Talk about the great things that happened in your life since the breakup.
This is by far the best topic of conversation any time you’re chatting with your ex. You can’t overdo it and come across as though you’re bragging or trying to make your ex jealous. Be careful to remain humble and not drag on too long that your ex becomes bored. The key to getting back together with your ex is to make them actually want you back. To rebuild your ex’s attraction for you, both emotional and physical, you need to reshape the mental image that your ex has of you at the back of their mind. One way to do that is to share stories and news about your awesome new life to subconsciously shift your ex’s perception of you from clingy and annoying to fun, interesting and desirable.
Never talk about your relationship.
Don’t fall into any drama or serious discussions about your past or your future together. Any talk with your ex should focus on interesting and fun stuff that’s gonna make your ex smile, laugh or at least spark their curiosity. Don’t talk about getting back together or who you’re currently dating. Those types of conversations are just gonna end up doing more harm than good.
Avoid any topics that might lead to disagreement or conflict.
Don’t bring up politics if you’ve argued about it in the past. Don’t criticize the actions or behavior of your ex or their friends and family. Definitely don’t rehash old problems or disputes from your past relationship.
About Brad Browning
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. For the past decade, Brad has worked with thousands of men and women around the world, helping to reverse breakups and mend broken relationships.
Brad is author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide program, which teaches readers how to get their ex back. He also offers personal coaching to a limited number of clients, guiding them through the process of winning back an ex or recovering from a difficult breakup.