“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”
~ Mandy Hale
This is never a great time in the relationship. After all, if things were great, you would not need a break.
There are many reasons why this would be the case. He could fear being happy or having a relationship or simply wants to be with other people or wants to decide if you guys are a good fit.
What you need to do is define how you feel about the time. Do you agree, are you worried he will be with other people, or that you will lose him or what? What is your gut saying about his request?
Many times, woman want to make the guy into someone they are not. What does your gut say? Not your heart or hormones. Your gut…that’s right ladies, your gut.
Those red flags you see or the lack of, what are they?
How do you feel about the direction of your relationship? Is this a pattern with people they have dated in the past? Have you said, “I know he has done ________ in the past but he would never do _____to me.”? Be honest with yourself. Look at the nitty gritty of how you get alone and what you want.
Definitely do not try to follow, have surveillance, Facebook stalk or anything of this nature.
Yes, I am saying do not do this. If you feel the person you want to be with needs to be tailed or e-followed, then you obviously don’t have trust in them. Why would you be fighting for a relationship that you don’t trust? It does not matter if they are actually doing anything or not. It does not matter if you feel it is just your insecurities.
If you do not trust them, then date longer to build that trust or move on to the next person. No harm, no foul, you just don’t fit. No bad guy. But whether it is that you are not ready, or they are not ready, stalking someone is no way to start or have a relationship.
Your personal space is supposed to be your safe place.
Forcing your way on someone is not a way to make them feel safe to build a relationship. Let them let you in as they want, as you let them in as you want.
So, if they are saying they need to think about the relationship, then say “ok”. The real question comes to what you do now. Now you examine your gut feelings that you keep explaining away and decide what you want.
If you want to be in the relationship, then let them think.
Define what that means with them. Does this mean you are seeing other people, not talking, going to different hang outs, etc. Does thinking mean you are not to interact until he gets back with you or are you “friends” that still do what you have been doing or what?
If you believe it means they want the night alone and the next day will tell you but you see them at a party with someone, you are going to be mad. If you expect they are going to text you in a day or so, and they don’t, you will be mad. Then he will feel pressured and you may not get the answer your looking forward to getting. So be clear and be patient. No, not easy but nothing truly awesome is.
- Let him have time
- Examine your gut reaction/feeling
- Be honest
- Be clear
- Be patient
You deserve to be happy, let that be the focus. Dating is meant to see if you guys will be a good fit for a more permanent relationship, you’re not there yet. Once you are in a more permanent place, then you are making choices together, not individually.
Be you, be happy, everyday!