“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”
~ Mandy Hale
You are stuck “between a rock and a hard place” if you are dating someone who just wants to be friends and you want more! This type of relationship can change but it takes a lot of work and a lot of determination, but if you feel the relationship could be more intimate, here are some things you can do.
1. Stop being available at his beckoned call.
You have a life and you need to live it on your terms. So, step out of your comfort zone and do things with your girlfriends. This would open your options to meeting a great guy and also create a new pattern between you two. You are broadening your social network.
If he sees you are willing to "get out there" again, he may get more interested in you or at least understand that you appreciate the friendship, but a true partnership is what you are looking for.
2. You may have to have "the talk."
Let him know that your friendship is taking too much physical and emotional time and that you are ready for a change. You're not getting any younger and have to focus on your future goals, namely a steady boyfriend and committed relationship. Will he miss what you had? Will he notice you're not around as much? Both are yet to be seen.
3. Then set boundaries with him.
Limit the amount of time you see him. Stop having those intimate talks or sharing your personal life with him. Avoid doing things for him, but instead, ask him for favors. See if that changes the impact of the relationship. See if he realizes what he is losing. You want to break off the enmeshed relationship you've had so far and establish new guidelines - rules that would benefit your needs, wants and desires.
The feeling of unreturned affection is frustrating and makes your situation feel hopeless.
Unless you decide to change what you are experiencing, things will stay the same and you don't want that, nor do you deserve that.
Realize, you may lose him completely, but if that's what it takes to move you along, maybe it's for the best.