How Effective Is No Contact After a Breakup: Here’s Why the No Contact Rule is So Powerful + Why You Should Follow It
In this video Clay Andrews, a relationship coach explains how not contacting your ex can actually improve things and help you get your ex back.
First of all, it must be said that at the Relationship Inner Game, the concept of Active No Contact is part of an entire program designed to help you improve. In other programs they teach Passive No Contact, wherein the partners simply do not see or speak to each other for thirty days. Active No Contact, on the other hand is fundamentally different. It requires that individuals actively work to make an emotional transformation which will strengthen what they bring to a relationship.
Time to Learn
The Active No Contact period is undertaken in order for you to discover a new way of relating to yourself and the people around you. The Relationship Inner Game program teaches that unless and until you understand and employ the Three Mindset Pillars of awareness, acceptance, and commitment, you cannot bring the best you to any relationship. So, the time during the period of time when you are not in contact with your ex, you are actually getting to know yourself. During that time, you are learning how to live in the moment and accepting reality as it is instead of resisting it. Perhaps most importantly, you are also learning that your happiness and well-being comes from inside, not from outside sources.
Time to Reflect
Your relationship ended in a break-up for a reason. The time you spend in Active No Contact, gives you time to recognize what and how mistakes led to the breakup. It allows you to evaluate whether or not you can really be the person your ex wants you to be without compromise your own value system. You are learning that practicing the dishonest tactics of Collapsing (agreeing to anything to get your ex back,) or Posturing, (pretending not to care,) is counterproductive and setting you up to fail.
As you come to understand yourself better, you will be better able to demonstrate, not just verbalize, that you have made positive changes in your ability to relate to your partner. He or she is already hesitant to trust you, as evidenced by the breakup – words won’t carry the day.
You need to walk the walk of a transformed partner and you will be able to do so if you actively spend your no contact time in making improvements to your inner you.
About Clay Andrews
Clay Andrews is a dating and relationship coach who helps women find the right type of man they can create a loving and thriving relationship with. He is the creator of Ex Solution Program- a program that helps couples get back together. To know more about Clay, visit his website below.