I Want To Work Things Out With My Ex But He Keeps Walling Me Out: What Should I Do?
Video Summary
In this video, Clay Andrews, a relationship coach talks about the reasons that a woman’s ex will wall them out. After a breakup, it’s not uncommon that their ex gives them the cold shoulder when they only want to sort-out the mess it creates. He gives three reasons for this:
Reason #1: Guilt
When a breakup happens, you become saddled with the feeling of rejection—loss, grief, and so on. In that pain, it’s easy to overlook the fact that the emotion you’re feeling has essentially been split in half. While you’re suffering from the pain of the rejection-half, your ex must deal with the guilt-half.
Just about everyone tries to be a good person and avoid causing others pain. So when the breakup causes you pain and hurts you, it makes them question if they are a good person. It’s easier to distance and wall you out to avoid feeling guilt, rather than deal with it.
Reason #2: Consistency
When your ex decides to breakup with you, it’s because they found some way to rationalize it. It takes time and some serious soul-searching to come to that conclusion, and isn’t a decision to be made lightly. So once they go through with it, they feel the need to remain consistent and stick with that choice.
The need to be consistent allows them avoid feeling silly or foolish or embarrassed after having gone through all the effort to breakup, only to get back together shortly afterwards. No one wants to have a relationship that’s constantly on-and-off. It also ties into the aforementioned guilt and reinforces it.
Reason #3: Reactants
While many people may not know what the word “reactant” means by definition, many have experienced the feeling it represents: the feeling of being forced or coerced into doing something against your will. It’s that feeling you get when there’s a knock on your door and you answer, only for a pushy salesman to twist your arm into making a purchase.
This often happens during a breakup, when the woman feels like they need to convince their ex to take them back. Ladies, if you want to get back with your ex because it makes you happy, then you should go for it. But you can’t approach it like you have to get something to twist their arm into it and do it against their will. You have to connect with them emotionally, so they naturally want to get back with you.
About Clay Andrews
Clay Andrews is a dating and relationship coach who helps women find the right type of man they can create a loving and thriving relationship with. He is the creator of Ex Solution Program- a program that helps couples get back together. To know more about Clay, visit his website below.