- in Attraction
“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”
~ Mandy Hale
Be a safe place for him
Be kind and be a safe place for him. Take care of him like you want to be taken care of emotionally and physically. Do things with sincerity and not because you want something in return. Be thoughtful and make him his favorite meal. Surprise him with something that he likes. Listen to what he says and let him know with what you do for him that you are listening to him.
Don’t be petty and hang on to things that don’t matter anymore. So, he forgot something; don’t keep harping on it. Praise him when he deserves it and don’t belittle what he does for you. Be gentle with his secrets and don’t throw what he has shared with you in his face. Be respectful of his feelings even though he does not express them the way you do.
Be mindful when he is quiet
Be mindful that when he is quiet, you don’t need to fill the space with conversation. You can be present and engaged with each other without words. Hold hands and be affectionate with each other. Let him think and respond thoughtfully to your questions. Slow down and be present for him. Look at him when he is talking and make eye contact.
Give him space to relax and let him express his feelings. If you cut him off when he is talking or assume what he is thinking, he will shut down and pull away from you.
Have a sense of humor
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have a sense of humor. Leave him a note with something funny. Make time to have fun and laugh. You don’t have to be perfect and neither does he. Be easy going about the things that will be forgotten tomorrow. There might be times when you have to go with the flow and roll with it. Plans change and life happens. Be flexible and understanding.
Let him know you appreciate the things he does for you
Thank him and take time to recognize the things he does for you. Show him that you value him by acknowledging his needs. Ask him how he is feeling. Have a conversation with him and don’t talk at him. Ask him his opinion about things. You might be surprised what he will share with you if you give him the opportunity.
Welcome him when you see him. Be mindful when and where you bring up the things you want to discuss. Don’t pressure him for an answer for something when he just got off work and sat through an hour of traffic. Let him decompress and relax so that he can be his best for you. Try and enjoy the time you spend together.
Don’t take him for granted
Avoid heavy subjects if the timing is not right. Schedule time to discuss something that is important to you and needs his full attention. Wait until the time is right to discuss more serious issues. Don’t ambush him with something and demand a decision when he is not in the right frame of mind to respond thoughtfully. He won’t appreciate feeling pressured or backed into a corner.
Don’t take him for granted. Check your anger and make sure that you are not taking your frustration out on him for past relationships. Sometimes the person we are in a relationship with is the safest and easiest person to lash out at. Be mindful that you are not taking your anger out on him when you are mad about something else. You will push him away if you keep beating him up for something that is not his fault.
Be genuine and don’t fake it or lie to him. He will figure out the truth with time. Be open and honest. Be yourself. If you are relaxed when you approach him, he will feel your vibe and hopefully match it. He wants to enjoy his time with you so make your time with him quality time. Give him a reason to look forward to being with you. Set the tone, so that he wants to spend time with you because you are loving and safe place for him.