- in Intimacy
In this video, Helena Hart, a Life and Relationship Coach talks about what to do when you have slept with a guy - how to behave so that you don’t go overboard and drive him away.
Ask yourself, what is it that you need in order to feel good after sleeping with a guy?
Most women cannot sleep with a man without feeling that there is some sort of exclusivity in place. Even if not in a dating capacity, most women need to know that a man is not out there, seeking other women if she is going to sleep with him. Ask yourself that matters to you - are you only comfortable sleeping with a man if you are in an exclusive relationship with him?
Or are you okay sleeping with him if it’s just a sex thing? Have a conversation with the guy and talk about what having sex means to you. Find out where he is at with things and then work out if you are okay with that.
Don’t play into the stereotype of being super clingy and needy.
If you have had sex with a guy, don't play into the stereotype of being needy and clingy just because you have had sex with him. So many do this and it is why men often fear women, the day after they have had sex with them.
A guy may back off to begin with because he wants to see how you are going to respond to him. Show him that you are independent and don’t be afraid to be the one who leaves first, if you have spent the night at his place. Just get up, and go about your day normally.
Show him that shared emotional experiences lead to more sexual attention.
It sounds kinda patronizing to say that you need to train a man - but you do. Ignore the bad behaviour and reward to good, by showing him that shared emotional experiences lead to more sexual attention.
Keep a full life, stay busy, authentically keep your life that you have outside of him. Don’t just give everything up and suddenly become obsessed with him. Be independent, both in mind and in your behaviour, and show him that if he wants to hang out with you and he wants to have sex with you then he is going to need to have to step up a little and share some more quality time with you, rather than call you asking you to go over, at 3 in the morning.
About Helena Hart