September 2, 2018

I am Bored in My Relationship With My Boyfriend: What Should I Do?

My Relationship With My Boyfriend Is Getting Pretty Boring and Monotonous

Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Of late, I have felt that things are getting monotonous between us. We both have jobs that take up most of our time and at the end of the day, we have little time and energy left. Most weekends we just stay home and try to de-stress ourselves from the grueling week. We don’t argue or fight much but the passion and spark seem to be fading away.

A part of me tells that it is normal for every relationship to tone down in intensity and passion after the initial phase but a part of me also says that I am settling for less and not doing my best to work towards a happy and fulfilling relationship.

What can I do to break the monotony and boredom and bring back the excitement and passion in our relationship?

A. This is a very common problem that occurs in most relationships.

It is very interesting that at the beginning of relationships we are often willing to explore new experiences with our partners, and then over time we do that less and less. I believe there are two important ideas to consider.

The first has to do with each of you as an individual. Are you both engaging in things that are exciting for you on individual level? Whether it is related to career, hobbies, creative endeavors, etc., it is important to be involved in things that you love.

If you have lost some of those things in your life, which often happens in relationships, it is time to rekindle the passion for them.

You will then be able to bring that excitement to the relationship because you will be fulfilled as an individual. Fatigue often happens when we are doing things that are not that exciting to us. The second idea is to continue to be proactive in exploring new experiences together.

You must be willing to do things that stretch you a bit.

It may something as simple as being more open or vulnerable, or it may be going to places you have never been. It may be expressing more appreciation for each other than you normally would. Growth-oriented actions such as these will lead to more passion and excitement in your relationship.

I believe that we are all innately curious and a have fundamental drive to grow and become more, and when this is thwarted we experience boredom. So give yourself permission right now to begin follow your excitement in life and proactively pursue new experiences with your partner.

About Steve Smith

Steve Smith

Steve Smith, LMFT is an innovator in the field of relationship counseling. He infuses leading edge Psychology with timeless universal principles to assist couples and individuals in creating the relationships they truly desire. Whether it is problems in communication, financial stress, parenting differences, patterns of blame and defensiveness, feeling disconnected, infertility, etc., he has helped many people overcome these challenges in counseling or coaching sessions and in the many workshops/classes he offers.

To know more about Steve, visit his website

Related Posts

Can I Connect With an Emotionally Unavailable Man? An Expert Shares Powerful Insights on Exactly What You Should Know

My Boyfriend Likes Public Display Of Affection But I am Shy: What Should I Do?

I Think My Best Friend Is Interested In My Boyfriend: What Should I Do?

I Have Concerns About My Boyfriend’s Family: What Should I Do?

I am Getting Cold Feet About My Marriage: What Should I Do?

My Boyfriend’s Family Doesn’t Like Me: What Should I Do?

I am Dating a Former Player and Have My Doubts On Whether Our Relationship Can Succeed Long Term: What Should I Do?

I Have Feelings For My Ex Boyfriend But He Isn’t So Sure: What Should I Do?

He Broke Up With Me Because He Lost His Job But I Still Want To Be With Him – What Should I Do?

My Boyfriend Gives Me the Silent Treatment: What Should I Do?

He Lives With an Attractive Female Roommate and this Bothers Me: What Should I Do?

I am Not Able To Forget My Ex Boyfriend and Move On: What Should I Do?

I am Dating a Man Who Cheated In His Previous Relationship: What Should I Do?

I am Ambitious and Financially Successful But He Is Not: What Should I Do?

How To Set Boundaries and Not Take Things Personally

He Spends More Time With His Friend and Prioritizes Him Over Me – What Should I Do?

My Boyfriend Buys Me Gifts All The Time And I Feel Awkward About It: What Should I Do?

I am a Single Mom Dating a Man Much Younger Than Me & He Wants To Have a Long Term Committed Relationship: What Should I Do?

I Feel Uncomfortable With My Boyfriend’s Relationship With His Female Friend: What Should I Do?

I am a Successful, Independent Woman and I Drive Men Away: What Should I Do?

I Fear Being Single and Lonely Forever: What Should I Do?

I am Dating a Man Separated From His Wife and She Is Trying To Woo Him Back: What Should I Do?

I Like a Guy Who Doesn’t Believe In Marriage: What Should I Do?

I am Dating a Man Who Is Out Of My League and I am Not Sure the Relationship Will Last: What Should I Do?

My Boyfriend is a Natural Flirt and Checks Out Other Women: What Should I Do?

I Tend To Fall In Love Too Quickly; Too Hard And Drive Men Away: What Should I Do?

I Want To Cuddle With My Boyfriend Sometimes, But He Prefers To Have Sex: What Should I Do?

I Want My Boyfriend To Propose But I am Not Sure He Will Do It Anytime Soon: What Should I Do?

I am Falling For My Boyfriend’s Friend: What Should I Do?

I Would Like To Have a Prenuptial Agreement But He Doesn’t: What Should I Do?

Exposed: The Magical Text That Makes Almost Any Man Psychologically Addicted to You…