In this video, Clay Andrews, a relationship coach helps viewers understand how and when an apology to your ex may need to be made.
When to apologize
In dealing with your ex, it’s quite possible that even a chance encounter can become difficult. Perhaps you fell to your knees and begged forgiveness. Perhaps you sneered and called her a bad name. Or maybe you could not speak at all. As with all other human beings – even those you do not know – sometimes we must beg the pardon of those around us. The key is, if you’ve broken a rule that you hold to be important, you should apologize. This can run the gamut from stepping on an old lady’s toe in the elevator or telling your ex’s date that he could do better. When you do something that violates your core beliefs, you probably owe somebody an apology.
How to apologize
Saying you are sorry is just that simple. Your apology need only say something like, “Hey, the last time I saw you I (fill in the blank.) That was beneath me, and I’m sorry I did it. I hope you will forgive me.” You’re not doing anything more than reaffirming your values to you and to her and taking responsibility for falling short of behavior you find acceptable. In this way, your apology speaks of your level of honesty and commitment to her and to yourself. This makes a statement about the kind of person you are. It doesn’t attack her in any way, nor does it demand that she erase your faux pas from her memory. It merely is a statement of responsibility offered by you to the person you may have offended.
How NOT to apologize
There is no need to send four dozen roses or take out a full-page ad in the local newspaper begging his/her forgiveness. As a matter of fact, though it may seem romantic, it is likely to be perceived as “collapsing,” or creating false expectations and, therefore, seen as dishonesty. Your first job is to be true to your own value system, which is why you are apologizing in the first place.
A deserved apology is one that must be made. Don’t worry about ‘weakening your bargaining position.’ Worry, instead, about being real and honest. In all relationships, not just romantic ones, you must always take care to practice ‘truth in advertising.’ Don’t make promises – even implied ones – that you cannot deliver.
About Clay Andrews
Clay Andrews is a dating and relationship coach who helps women find the right type of man they can create a loving and thriving relationship with. He is the creator of Ex Solution Program- a program that helps couples get back together. To know more about Clay, visit his website below.