In this video breakup expert, Clay Andrews, from relationship inner game talks about why he believes that the common, no contact for 30 days advice could be bad for you, and suggests a different route for you to follow, if you want your ex to come back to you.
If you follow the no contact rule, your ex will not necessarily reach out to you.
Many ex back programs and coaches out there, advise, that if you go through a breakup, then the best way to get your ex's attention and have him come crawling back to you is to cut all contact for around a 30 day period. This will make your ex miss you and then reach out to you.
This is not always necessarily how it will work out for you. Here’s the thing - it all depends on why you broke up in the first place. For example, if you cheated on him, then he might think once a cheater always a cheater, and might think that you never really loved him anyway. Your absence of contact might simply reinforce that and your ex will just carry on his life without you.
Waiting for you ex to be the one to initiate contact also means, that you’re putting HIM in the driving seat. A lot of coaches say that no contact is about empowering YOU.. but what you are actually doing is empowering your ex here - you are leaving the ball totally in his court as to whether or not he contacts you.
You are going to have to do something, to change your ex’s mind.
Rather than be passive and give your ex all of the control, if you are the dumpee and you want to get back together with your ex, you are going to have to do something to change your ex’s mind about the breakup.
Sitting about doing nothing for 30 days, hoping that the time and distance will make your ex miss you, could simply be a big waste of your precious time. Use the time wisely and initiate active no contact.
This means, work on yourself, work on your relationship skills, and put yourself out there, showing your ex, that you really have taken responsibility for things. This is far more appealing than playing a no contact mind game.
About Clay Andrews
Clay Andrews is a dating and relationship coach who helps women find the right type of man they can create a loving and thriving relationship with. He is the creator of Ex Solution Program- a program that helps couples get back together. To know more about Clay, visit his website below.