Will the “No Contract Strategy Work for me?”
This particular situation is not for everyone. There are exceptions. In this video Brad Browning, a relationship coach reveals whether you should ignore your ex and shares exceptions to the No Contract rule.
The “No Contact Method” Is a strategy that is recommended by many relationship counselors. This method means no contact for about 30 days after your initial break up. This is to give your ex time to let go of bad memories, and any anger he may hold, instead it may push the happier memories to the front of his mind, which will make him miss you and want you back.
Keep in mind there is nothing you can do to speed up the process of getting your ex back, but using the “No Contact Method” actually does work. Time is the best way to get your ex to realize what he is missing out on.
First, when the “No Contact” method strategy doesn’t work, it could be that you have let to much time pass, months perhaps without any contact at all.
If you wait to long, for example, 6 months have passed and you haven’t made contact, this method may not work as well. Why? Because your ex may see the relationship as lost, or he may have moved on. Try to stay within the 30 day “No Contact Method”
Second, if you are in a situation where you live with your ex, and this is a really common scenario, there is no way to avoid contact with your ex. Even if you still live with your ex, it is important to limit contact with him, however you can. Be discreet about limiting contact. If it is to obvious, he may think you really dislike him, are ignoring him, and that could leave him with no idea how to approach you.
When you do have to approach your ex, it is imperative to have a very happy face, be positive and friendly.
Leave all negative emotions behind. Acting sad, or depressed may push him further away. Keep the conversations light and friendly and short. A key thing to do is to always look happy. Appearing or being happy may actually encourage him.
Third, If you work or go to school together with your ex, using the exact same strategy above will help ease any awkwardness.
Keep any and all conversations positive and friendly but brief. Make sure your ex sees how well you are doing since the breakup occurred.
Fourth, If you and your ex have children together there is no way to avoid contact all together.
If this the situation you find yourself in, keep the short, but limited to the child or children. Talk about which of you will do what for each child. Examples like who would be responsible for taking the child, or children to school, to soccer games, to dance class, etc. Hold this conversation with a smile on your face and with a positive attitude. Keep this conversation brief, but polite, and avoid any topic about a reconciliation, if your ex brings it up, try to put the conversation back on the topic of child or children. If you are already going through a divorce, chances are that the relationship may never be reconciled.
Fifth, when your ex will not stop talking to you when you are trying to do the 30 day no contact, the question is how will it affect your goal of getting your ex back.
If he keeps calling or texting, it leaves the question of how ignoring them will help you get him back. Ignoring him, and sticking to your 30 day no contact period, will show him that you are not always available to him and his needs. Your ex needs to decide if he really wants a true reconciliation, or not having you in his life at all. There is no in between in this situation, and you must make him realize that. This is what the “30 Day No Contact Rule” is really all about.
If your ex calls you and wants to talk about the relationship don’t be rude, short or negative, just maintain a happy, upbeat appearance and make an excuse, as politely as possible and end the conversation. If he is calling to talk about something other than the relationship, keep it friendly and brief, and politely end the conversation. If he texts you is about something he may have left behind at your house, or maybe a bill the two of you have together, wait a few hours to send a response message. Keep it brief.
If your ex is constantly texting you or calling you, chances are the he really misses you, and if he is sending these mixed messages, stick with the No Contact method, as often as possible.
Sticking with the No Contact method for 30 days not only increases your chances of getting your ex back, but when you do get him back, it will be a lasting relationship.
About Brad Browning
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. For the past decade, Brad has worked with thousands of men and women around the world, helping to reverse breakups and mend broken relationships.
Brad is author of the best-selling Ex Factor Guide program, which teaches readers how to get their ex back. He also offers personal coaching to a limited number of clients, guiding them through the process of winning back an ex or recovering from a difficult breakup.