- in Commitment
In this video, dating advice guru Carlos Cavallo talks about attracting a guy and making him commit to you.
Before getting into that, here’s a thought to consider: many women compare men’s behavior and needs in the context of her own behaviors and needs. This has left men feeling misunderstood. Women then need to relearn what it is that men really need from women.
Commitment Tip #1: Put brakes on your own commitment urgency
Women often assume that men have the sames needs they do in a relationship. This makes her try to pin him down with every word and action. For a man, though, he needs to, at the very least, get used to the idea of a long term relationship first, before he allows himself to commit.
At the onset of a relationship, women typically think and act like they’re going to be in the relationhsip for good and that scares him because he’s not ready for it. He doesn’t really mind being in a committed relationship – he just needs to get used to the idea. What he does mind is the rush to get him to the altar.
Commitment Tip #2: Wait
In a number of relationship studies, both women and men prefer to wait longer before sleeping with their current partner. This runs contrary to the perception that men put on the pressure to get a woman to bed with him at the soonest possible time.
What’s really happening is that women feel they can only lock down a guy when she gives in to him. And because guys don't mind a quick lay, he’s not going to be the one to hold a woman back.
If you hurry into bed with a guy, you don't allow yourselves to build a strong emotional attachment. You’ll end up satisfying only his sexual needs and nothing more. Besides, if he can’t wait for a few more dates to get you to sleep with him, then he won't be the type to want a long-term relationship with you.
Commitment Tip #3: Don't try to be a “super” girlfriend
Just because you’re making him the center of your universe doesn't mean he will do the same for you. So until he is clearly in on this for the long haul, you should be open to dating other guys too.
Why? For one, you need to be able to pick the best from among the lot. Second, you don't want to feel that one guy holds your entire future in his hands. Having more than one guy in your life also puts you in a mindset of abundance, rather than of scarcity.
When he senses competition, he will want to lock you down. Not because it’s a challenge to him but because he is better able to see your value and desirability. He’ll step up his game and will want to work harder to win you over.
About Carlos Cavallo
Carlos Cavallo is a dating and attraction adviser, as well as a black belt instructor and motivational life coach. He’s the author of Forever Yours – The Secret Password To His Heart, The Connection Code, and too many other programs to mention.
Carlos brings to the table a variety of life experiences, including a background in relationship skills, life-coaching, motivational psychology, sales, management, Martial Arts, teaching and instruction, energy work, Eastern philosophy, the psychology of achievement, and music.
Carlos Cavallo’s programs teach the essence of attraction between the sexes. By understanding the successful traits of an attractive single, you can attract the right man, achieve more success with your personal and social world, and experience a more rewarding life.