- in Commitment
In this video, Susan Winter talks about how you can figure out whether or not a guy is emotionally unavailable or is just holding back, and for good reason. Here’s how you can work it out, and more importantly, what you can do about it.
Peak behind the curtain to figure out what’s going on.
This means have a look at other areas of the guys life. Look at how they are with their friends and their family for example. Someone who is emotionally unavailable is often that way with everybody.
Look at and listen to the way that they talk about others. Do they doubt other people and assume that everybody is out to get the better of them? Those people are emotionally damaged and they are going to be the same in an emotional relationship.
Figure out whether or not you think that they are like this in general, and then if you feel that actually they are just emotionally unavailable, ask yourself if YOU are prepared to put up with that?
Ask lots of questions and see if they are a running faucet.
This means, see whether or not their emotions can scale from hot to cold, and something in between, like a running faucet where you can play with the temperature.
If they are emotionally unavailable chances are that they have learned to keep themselves stuck at one setting. Whereas a normal, emotionally healthy individual, will know how to escalate and also decrease their response to things depending on the situation.
If you come across someone who really just doesn’t seem to allow themselves to feel things and certainly don’t want to talk about things, then you need to ask yourself if you are prepared to put in a lot of groundwork and chase this individual.
Only you can make that choice, but please do understand, that if you are a woman who is addicted to trying to change things, putting all of your time and energy into a guy who is emotionally unavailable is only ever going to end badly for you.
You deserve more than that from a relationship, don't you?
About Susan Winter
Susan Winter (Allowing Magnificence and Older Women/Younger Men), is a bestselling author and relationship expert specializing in higher thinking for an evolving world. She writes, speaks and coaches on cutting-edge partnership models as well as traditional relationship challenges from a platform that fosters self-esteem and personal empowerment.
Susan’s first book, Older Women/Younger Men quickly became an international bestseller as it opened the hearts and minds of readers’ worldwide to the validity of this type of age-gap love. Susan’s second book, Allowing Magnificence completely reframes how we view life’s challenges, empowering the reader to reconnect with the limitless power they already possess. Susan is currently a contributing writer for The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project.
To know more about Susan, visit her website www.susanwinter.net.