- in Commitment
In this video, Helena Hart, MA, coach and expert on men and women’s relationships looks at why some men fear committing to a woman, and lose trust in that woman - and talks about what you as the woman can do about it.
Be authentic. A man can sense when you aren’t being yourself and he won’t trust you.
Many women build a shell, almost like a caricature of themselves and then they become that person, which is the person that they want a man to think that they will be in a relationship. One that is easy going, cool, won’t come on too heavy.
This is a recipe for disaster on two levels: 1) You can only keep up this act for so long before you crack because your needs aren’t being met by him and 2) he will sense that you’re not being authentic and then he will decide that he can’t trust you.
Be your authentic self, one who operates from her core. If something is bothering you, step up be strong and talk to him. A man will only panic if you are being needy, but talking about how you feel in a way that shows that you are capable of handling yourself, shows that you are balanced. You can talk to him and be open but you also have control of things.
A guy will feel safe with this and will open up and trust you.
Share your emotions - the negative and the positive.
Show a man that you are comfortable enough in yourself to talk about what’s not working out for you. You’re perfectly within your rights to talk about your feelings, as long as it’s in a non confrontational way. But be sure to also share the positives and if a man only hears how you feel when it is negative he will want to back away from you.
Handle your emotions confidently.
Show a man that you can handle your own emotions confidently, and he will see that you will be capable of accepting his emotions. Men often hold back because they worry that they may confide in the wrong woman, and often, when men share their feelings with a woman, she freaks out and starts to talk about her own emotions in relation to what he has shared with her.
Show him that you are stable and confident with feelings and he will feel safe to open up to you and be with you.
About Helena Hart