- in Commitment
In this video Helena Hart from Commitment Connection discusses what to do when a man is distant or shuts down. She gives advice on how you can break down his wall and reconnect with him. The advice works for someone you are dating or any kind of man, even a male friend.
Don’t lean forwards. Take a step back.
When a man is shut down emotionally, trying to make him open up will typically push him further and further away. Women like to lean forwards and try and ‘fix things’ but it’s better if you pull your energy away. Take a step back - this doesn’t mean be cold towards him, still be friendly and caring but give him space to come back towards you on his own.
You could actually tell him that you have noticed that he is shut down, and let him know that you figure he needs some space, and you want to give it to him. Being too giving and nurturing to him when he cannot meet your needs, will mean that he will shut down even further and be turned off by you.
So what can you do whilst he is shut down?
Get yourself out there and focus on YOU. Go get a haircut, a new dress, hang out with your friends, go on a long walk, visit a new city. Unless he is asking for your help or advice you really want to stay out of that territory. You want to back off, get into your feminine energy, lean back and put your focus on yourself as much as possible.
Believe it or not, when you are trying to make things better for a man you are operating in your masculine energy. This will repel him from you because he does not want you to fix things. He is already feeling pretty awful and has pulled back so that he can figure out he is feeling and fix things for himself.
Take some space and just trust that if things are meant to be between the two of you he will come back to you and will appreciate you more for not putting the pressure on him.
About Helena Hart
As a Certified Life and Relationship Coach with a masters degree in Psychology – and a Master Coach Teacher for Rori Raye – Helena Hart understands the challenges of balancing the masculine energies she uses in work with the feminine energies necessary for success in dating and relationships.