- in Commitment
In this video, dating expert Matthew Hussey shares some tips on how to respond when your guy tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship. He breaks the response down to explain why it’s so effective.
So when your boyfriend breaks up with you by saying, “I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship”, this is what you say to him (assuming that you care about this guy and you do would want to get back with him):
“It seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while. And I want your happiness more than anything in the world. I just want you to be happy. I feel that you need to go and be alone in order to figure out what you want. And I hope that I’m still here when you’re ready. But until then, I know I need someone who is completely in because I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn’t 100% about wanting to be with me”.
This is a response that shows complete love for your possibly-soon-to-be ex while showing deep love for yourself at the same time. Here’s why:
When you say: “It seems like you need to go away…”
You're basically telling him that you think he’s right to want to be alone for now and that you’re giving him the space he’s asking for. All of a sudden, going away doesn’t seem as appealing to him anymore because he now doesn't have anything to rebel against.
It will make him doubt his decision, and he’ll feel a bit scared about being on his own now. This is especially true when coupled with the next statement.
When you say: “I just want you to be happy…”
He then realizes that you’re not just being manipulative in letting him go – that the intention was pure because you believe that it will make him happy. You are telling him that going away is far better for you as well than him being unhappy in this situation.
When you say: “I hope that I’m still here…”
He now sees you as this incredible, loving woman that he’s about to lose. It introduces seeds of doubt in that his going away may find him happiness but there’s also the possibility that it might not.
Lastly, when you say: “I need someone who is completely in…”
This shows that you are high value. You respect and love yourself. You deserve someone who knows what he wants and who knows he wants you 100%. You can’t settle for anything less.
About Matthew Hussey
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.
To know more about Matthew, visit www.howtogettheguy.com.