- in Commitment
In this video Helena Hart, relationship expert and coach talks about why some men show interest but then seem to pull away again and looks at how you may be part of the problem in creating this.
We all have a certain amount of intimacy and closeness that we can tolerate at any given time. Often, most men tolerate less than women. Many women are not aware of this, and believe that when things are intense, that a guy is feeling the same way as her. If you come towards a guy too quickly or too intensely, he will need to back off for a while.
This doesn’t mean that he isn’t into you. It’s normal for a man to pull away a little, so that he can get some space and let his testosterone build back up a bit. However, if your guy keeps on doing this, then it might be that there is something else going on here.
Look at yourself - are YOU pushing people away too?
Often, if you are pushing guys away when they get too close (and you may not even realise that you are doing this), then chances are that subconsciously, you are actually allowing yourself to attract guys who will blow hot and cold you, as this is some sort of defense mechanism. Do you feel that if you let a man get too close to you, he will see who you are and reject you?
There may well be some soul searching that you will need to do here.
Then look at what you are allowing into your life.
Some men do just blow hot and cold and there may not be any obvious reason for it. Do by all means give a guy space in which to back off from time to time if things get too much for him, but know the difference between a guy needing to rebalance his energy and man who is a hot and cold player. You deserve more than having a carrot dangled in front of you.
About Helena Hart