- in Attraction
Why do guys stop the “chasing” once they are in a relationship? And how do you maintain the attraction that you had for each other when you were in the “chasing” stage? In this video, dating expert Matthew Hussey of Get the Guy program reveals the answers.
The excitement of the chase
The beginning of a relationship is always exciting because of the element of chase. The attraction builds up every day because both of you are always trying to be at your best. That’s perfectly natural because you were trying to get each other – or chase each other.
But for most people, once they are in a relationship, they assume that all the work is done and no further effort is necessary. How then do you make it exciting now that you have each other?
Change your mindset
Your relationship may be great now and it has lulled you into believing that it will always be like this – you’re his and he’s yours. But the idea that nothing can change in your relationship is an illusion, one which lazy people tend to buy into.
Either one of you could leave the relationship any day. Instead of dwelling on that, though, turn your focus into creating a relationship that you both would want to stay in every day. That means work. That means you need to invest in your partner and in yourself by showing him what a great person you are. And you need to expect the same of him.
In practical terms, one way to maintain attraction in a relationship is to show your partner that you are continuously growing – learning new skills, getting better at what you’re good at, living life to the fullest.
When you were at the chasing stage, you were already doing these things and that was what made you attractive in the first place. Relationships get stale because partners stop doing the things that made them appealing. Just because someone has professed his love for you is no reason to be lazy and take yourself off the market.
When you stop doing the things that made you feel gorgeous and sexy, you also stop liking yourself. That tends to rub off on your partner. He starts to think that you need him to feel interesting – and that you don’t feel appealing on your own. That is also when his attraction for you will slip.
So really, just keep doing the things that you’re passionate about. Make no excuses for not maintaining your confidence in other aspects of your life and resist the temptation to be drab. Simply put, do the things that make you great and you are sure to keep him interested.
About Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey, speaker and New York Times Bestselling author, serves as a matchmaker on “Ready for Love,” NBC’s innovative and dramatic new relationship show about making real connections.
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.
To know more about Matthew, visit www.howtogettheguy.com.