- in Attraction
In this video, Helena Hart, author of commitmentconnection.com, a site dedicated to advising women on their relationships shared her answer to a question many women ask: what makes a man fall more in love?
Men respond to emotions
First of all, mental strategies don't really work when it comes to love and relationships. Men don't really respond to such strategies, at least not in a permanent way that would make you feel safe and secure and truly loved in the relationship.
Men, however, respond to emotions, especially when it comes to love. Not the kind of emotion that makes you a drama queen but true, honest, vulnerable emotion. Not the kind of emotion where you are acting out being hurt, but one that is raw and real.
Women have long believed that men hate emotions. The truth is, a man loves it when his woman is able to open up and express her true feelings to him. But again, this is different from when you create drama, or you make it seem like he’s done something wrong, or that you hold him responsible for your feelings. That’s altogether different.
Men need women to feel connected
Women, on the whole, are deeper than men. They owe their depth to the fact that they tend to be more connected with themselves and to others. Men are more aloof. They connect to others through women, generally speaking.
Men need women in so many ways. And this is one way that they need women – he needs you to be in touch with yourself so you are able to freely express yourself to him. He needs you to live a full, complete life because you are able to connect to yourself in a way that he can only get connected through you. This is what makes him fall even more in love with you.
So really, the way to connect to a man’s heart is to connect to your own heart first. And you can do that by getting in touch with how you’re feeling all throughout the day. You don't really need to dig very deep; it could be the small things – how you feel about your work, your family, your friends. Just see how things feel to you and learn to express that.
Express yourself with positive emotions
Most importantly, when you are expressing yourself to your man, it’s always best to start with a positive emotion. Even yourself, you really wouldn't want to be met by someone who immediately hits you with, “I feel bad, I feel disappointed”. Neither would he.
Men are especially sensitive to criticism, more than women think they are. So you really want to be careful with the kind of emotions you express. Of course, it’s perfectly alright to express unpleasant feelings. But when you’re working to make him fall more in love with you, it’s positive emotions that will really draw him in.
About Helena Hart